Google Chrome .(made by japan =D)

Italians

This could be ALERT and INSINUATION

Funny Commercial =D

Kisah Samsul Dan Awie

Banana Village, Malaysia, Pagi yang sempurna, dua orang sekawan kejumpahan mengupi di warung Pak Munawir tampat "zombie kampung pisang" belakun, sorang namanya Awie, and yang sorang namanya Samsul, dangan selamba, Awie behabar arah si Samsul pasal kematian si Kai, kemarin behari...

Awie : ada you mendangar si Kai mati kemarin behari yow?

Samsul : Iawah, ada pulang me mendangar tu, cemana bulih atu kan?

Awie : Inda, ia atu kan kerumah me wa tu, iatah masanya kan sampai, brakenya inda makan, iatah telumpat kretanya tekana stable, landing masuk ngam-ngam kebilik me tingkat 2..

Samsul : Ouhhh kesian jua ah, cematu rupanya ia mati...

Awie : Eh alum lagi ia mati tu, sampat ia keluar dari keretanya, habis wah bedarah-darah tekana ceramin pacah ah, iatah masanya keluar atu, bepigang ia arah alamari ikea me yang basar atu, iatah tumbang lamari ah arah nya.. tesapit ya wah, habis wah patah mematah tulang batisnya bekeluaran..

Samsul : Ouhhhh kesian jua ah, cematu rupanya ia mati..

Awie : Inda eh, alum lagi habis tu, dapat lagi ia melapaskan dari tesapit atu yow!! tapi just after ia lapas, rupanya rapuh udah lantai bilik me ah, iatah tegugur ia kebawah menerubus landing ngam didapur tampat tambak memasak.

Samsul : Ouuhhh sadis eh, cematu rupanya matinya!!

Awie : Ehhh alum lagi ia mati tu, he managed to bangun balik tapi ketumpahan aying panas ia yang mendidih didapur ah, habis bah hangus kulitnya kan seluruh badan..

Samsul : Bwoohh,, cematu rupanya matinya.. kesian ehh!!

Awie : Ehhh inda eh, hidup ia masih tu, sampat lagi ia bangun bagas kana aying panas ah, iatah ia tetarik wire telipun siring meja makan ah, apalagi, tekaran ia wah, tangannya lagi basah kuyup.. 1,000 volt kali ah..

Samsul : Ouuuhh.. kali ani ta ia, mati tu eh, kesian banar!!

Awie : Ehhh alum lagi tu eh... hidup ia masih tu yow...

Samsul : hold on now!! mun semua ia kan selamat, baik tah you gtau cemana ia mati.. manithh!!

Awie : You tau apa? Me timbak ia pakai senapang gajah!!

Samsul : ahhhhh?? you timbak?? kenapa you timbak??

Awie : Sasak me.... hancur rumah me ulihnya!!!

The Reality of Doreamon =D

That head was small .. but the body was BIGG =p

Becareful guys.. This what women do when they're MAD ! ( T.T)

Miser's Final Wish

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" she had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.

Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."

She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"

"I sure did, " said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."

Lawak Sekolah

PART I


Cikgu Nasyor sedang mengendali kelasnya dalam aktiviti sukan di padang sekolah. Seperti biasa, Cikgu Nasyor akan menyuruh murid²nya melakukan regangan otot. Tiba di satu bahagian, dimana murid² baring dan mengangkat kaki lalu menggerakkannya seperti sedang mengayuh basikal. Cikgu Nasyor asyik memerhati seorang muridnya yang pada mulanya menggerakkan kakinya tiba² memberhentikan kakinya. Lalu Cikgu Nasyor menyergah muridnya yang bernama Mat.

Cikgu Nasyor: "Woiiii Mat, apa sebab kau berhenti ni hah"

Mat : "Oh Cikgu Nasyor, basikal saya tengah turun bukit Cikgu, sebab tu saya berhenti.Takkan nak kayuh jugak."


PART II


Waktu sekolah telah tamat. Sebelum keluar kelas, Cikgu Nasyor telah bertanya kpd murid²nya.

Cikgu : Siapa nak masuk/pergi syurga?

Semua murid mengangkat tangan kecuali Mat lalu Cikgu Nasyor pun bertanya,

Cikgu : Mat, kenapa awak tak nak pergi/masuk syurga?

Mat : Mak saya kata lepas habis sekolah, terus balik rumah..jangan pergi mana-mana.

PART III


Cikgu Nasyor sedang mengajar Bahasa Melayu dalam kelas 1 Mawar...

Cikgu : Mat, boleh kamu buat ayat dengan menggunakan perkataan tepong?

Mat : Itu senang saja cikgu.. ayatnya ialah.... emak sedang membuat kek di dapur.

Cikgu : Mana tepungnya??

Man : Tepung kan ke dalam kek tu.... Cikgu nie tak sekolah ke hape??


PART V


Cikgu Nasyor : Joe, cuba terangkan apakah tugas akar pokok pisang?

Joe : Untuk mencari makanan, cikgu

Cikgu Nasyor : Bagus! Sekarang giliran Wati pulak. Apakah tugas batang pokok pisang?

Wati : Untuk membawa makanan yang dicari akarnya, cikgu.

Cikgu Nasyor : Bagus! Sekarang giliran Mat pula. Apakah tugas daun pisang?

Mat :untuk membungkus nasi lemak, cikgu...

Cikgu Nasyor : uii... lagi bagus... berdiri atas meja sampai habis kelas..

Guru Bodoh , Murid Bijak

Ada seorang cikgu tadika yang tak percaya wujudnya Tuhan. Dia pun berfikir bagaimana hendak mempengaruhi kanak-kanak di tadika tersebut supaya tak percaya wujudnya Tuhan. Tiba-tiba, dia mendapat satu akal...

Guru tadika : Anak-anak, nampak tak pen ini?
Murid-murid : Nampak cikgu.
Guru tadika : Pen ada kan?
Murid-murid : Ada cikgu.

Kemudian guru tadika tadi memasukkan pen itu
ke dalam poket dia dan kemudian bertanya lagi..

Guru tadika : Anak-anak,nampak tak pen?
Murid-murid : tak nampak cikgu.
Guru tadika : pen ada tak?
Murid-murid : tak ada cikgu.
Guru tadika : Anak-anak nampak Tuhan tak?
Murid-murid : tak nampak cikgu.
Guru tadika : Tuhan ada tak?
Murid-murid : tak ada cikgu.

Guru tadika itu sangat gembira kerana tujuannya untuk mempengaruhi kanak-kanak itu berjaya. Tetapi.. dalam kumpulan kanak-kanak itu ada seorang budak yang pintar yang bernama Amin lalu dia pun mengangkat tangan...

Amin : Cikgu, boleh saya cakap sesuatu?
Guru tadika : Boleh,mari ke depan.
Amin : Kawan-kawan nampak cikgu tak?
Murid-murid : nampak.
Amin : cikgu ada kan?
Murid-murid : ada.
Amin : Kawan-kawan nampak otak cikgu tak?
Murid-murid : tak nampak.
Amin : cikgu ada otak tak?
Murid-murid : tak ada.

Short clips

Clever Stuff =p

From Cambridge University .

Olny srmat poelpe can raed this.
I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this psas it on !!




Read out loud the text inside the triangle below.






More than likely you said, 'A bird in the bush,'! And. .......
If this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see
That the word THE is repeated twice!
Sorry, look again.

What does traffic logo meaning (Mun Paham Bisai~ =p)

CLICK IT

Xtra Class on 17.Feb ..

Today xtra we have Geography and history .. but ... history postponed .. here some picture in school and out school at grandstand ... i'm scaring Chika until she cried xP

We Learning about ASEAN in TOPIC FORM 1 ...

From the left . Aziman , Wong and Hafizullah

Nysah ... Chika Menangiss .. Takut Kumbangg =p

Who is this guyyyy ?

Kids Are Quick

Kids Are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
________________________________ ____________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O..
__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right...... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
______________ ___________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

TEKNIK-TEKNIK NAK BERHADAPAN DENGAN HANTU....‏

Pocong
>Hantu yang berbungkus macam lepat pisang baru masak
>in memang mudah cari kelemahannya. Kita hanya
>perlu bukak tali pengikat di atas kepalanya Dan
>tarik kain balutannya.
>Sudah tentu dia akan berasa malu rana dia tidak
>pakai apa apa pun, selain kain kapan pembungkusnya TU.

Langsuir
>Dia in suka pandang muka Kita, jadi beranikan diri
>anda tenung balik muka dia sambil jelir-jelir
>lidah. Kalau tak pun tunjuk cermin muka kat dia,
>pasti dia tersipu-sipu malu.

Pontianak
>Hantu yang suka ketawa. Kalau terserempak dengan
>dia, Kita pun mestilah ketawa sama. Kalau boleh Kita
> Cuba mengilai lebih kuat dari dia, tentu dia boring.

Hantu Raya
>Hantu in suka beraya Dan suka menyamar jadi tuan
>dia. Cara mengalahkannya senang saja, sambutlah Hari
>raya tiap kali jumpa dia, bagi duit raya, ajak main meriam buluh,
Suruh
>kacau dodol atau jaga lemang. Tentu dia tak kacau Kita sebab
Banyak kerja Dan aktiviti lain dia nak buat.

Hantu Galah
>Hantu in la yang paling tinggi di muka bumi. Kalau
>terjumpa dia, Kita hendaklah meniarap. Pasti dia tak
>perasan Kita Ada disitu.

Jerangkung
>Dia in Ada kulit tapi nipis. Tinggal rangka saja,
>Dan paling mudah untuk menewaskannya. Kita hanya perlu tunjal
Dahinya dengan telunjuk Dan lihat gerak-gerinya mengimbangi badan untukberdiri
Tegak.

Toyol
>Lagi senang kalau nak kalahkan dia, bagi duit satu
>sen berguni-guni. .nanti dia ingat duit emas, lepas TU
>dia pikul bawak balik bagi tuannya... Lepas TU sah-sah lah dapat
Penampau Jepun dari tuannya kerana mana nak tukar duit satu sen
Banyak2 TU

Hantu Ponteng
>Yang in payah sikit nak cakap sebab, hantu-hantu in
>cam korang lerrr..takder kerja lain asyik ponteng kerja, lepaih TU
Nengok e-mail..macam sekarang nih..sah-sah tengahponteng
Nie..macamana nak jawab..korang sendiri gak jadik hantu...jadi
Bawak-bawaklah buat kerja ... .. Hehehehehe

LEPAS BACE NIE DAH TAK YAH TAKUT2
NGANHANTU..TAKUT PADA DIRI SENDIRI SEBAB KADANG2 DIRI SENDIRI
LEBIH MENYERAMKAN DARIPADA HANTU!!!!!!!

i could say this is ENOUGH ! xP

Behind The Voices

Criteria untuk IC kuning!!

Subject: You know you are Bruneian

1.      You 'miss call' instead of calling or sending sms.
2.      You always say "kapih ku.. bila terima/keluar
gaji/overtime/elaun ah?"
3.      You park your car as close as possible to your destination
area.
4.      You speak Malaysia if you meet Malaysian, speak Indonesia if
you meet Indonesian.. and so on.
5.      You are asked to go to a "meeting" but actually you will only
be "listening".
6.      You go to someone's wedding, you give money using an envelope
and put your name on it or if you think you don't give enough you use
a
blank envelope.
7.      Indo mee is your staple food and Ayamku is your fastfood.
8.      The term 'balik kampung' is almost not applicable.. since you
can 'balik kampung' everyday.
9.      Motorcyles and bicycles are not your transport, they are your
sport.
10.  When you see local tv camera around you during the day, then at
night you will watch local news... and hoping to see yourself on
television.
11.  You drive your car on wavy and potholed road.
12.  You receive official news faster by mean of "mouth" than by
"written".
13.  You like electronic products from Japan.
14.  If you have the chance to call a radio show and before you are
asked to hang-up, you say 'boleh minta putarkan lagu?'
15.  You are in BIG debts and refuse to pay the lenders and yet still
drive a CLK and live in a mansion.
16.  You wear baju kurung with large katoks and maniks all over.
17.  You are loud and speak in melandih way.
18.  You and the whole family have the same car plate numbers.
19.  You spend your $$$$$ on your wedding even though you are broke.
20.  You become Akademi Fantasia fanatics.
21.  You know most of the people here - "eh si anak si anu eh saudara
si blabla".
22.  You drive to the shop next door even though the shop is only 100
meters away (except maybe in Kampung Ayer).
23.  Every year, since the 80s until last year, you don't want not to
miss HM's Birthday Titah (because you are hoping that HM will increase
your salary).
24.  When you want to get some service from the government agencies,
you will find your saudara first.
25.  If something goes wrong, you will say that one of the datos,
pehins is your relative (or at least they know you).
26.  You cannot live without Brudirect's HYS.
27.  You give you children super long name.
28.  You rush to a new shopping mall just to beat everybody else even
though it's just another Hua Ho.
29.  You wave your hand while driving to other drivers that you know.
30.  You are able to pay (or not) for one or two amahs who are most
likely an Indonesian or a Filipino.
31.  You are ok to be fat.
32.  You are a busy body with other peoples' news, especially the bad
ones, and you think your responsibility is to know and to spread it
around.
33.  Your friends get married on the same day and you don't know who
to
go to.
34.  You like to stare at phones for 24 hours and chat on MSN.
35.  You say "Mun paham bisai" (this needs no further explaination) .
36.  You have to wear 'cool' attire everywhere, even on holidays.
37.  You add "BUI" on each sentence.
38.  You think exercising, being hyper active, competition are for
little kids.
39.  You can't type or spell properly properly, example "hw r u? hy my
nme s si org brnui"
40.  You add "me & you" on your converstations with your girl mates.
41.  You listen to Pelangi FM.
42.  You think fake Von Dutch products are the best.
43.  You are especially racist to Indian workers.
44.  You would rather go to shopping malls than hanging out at parks,
having a picnic with your friends.
45.  You have 'candas' in your house.
46.  You read this blogsite because all your friends are reading it
and you don't want to be left behind.
47.  You rush to get a $99 handphone not caring about the limited
features coz you think anything cheap is a bargain.
48.  You have two handphones - one for DST and the other for BMobile
(for one month and then switch off one or the other).
49.  You always try to runding the policemen who caught you speeding.

Harimau dijumpai di kawasan KG Pandan

HARIMAU D KG PANDAN

Sebut saja nama haiwan ini, susah bagi kita untuk mempercayainya. Kejutan mengenainya bukan sahaja mustahil, bahkan ianya sangat diragui. Apatah lagi ianya di jumpai dikawasan dimana masyarakat melakukan riadah seharian bersama keluarga. Trajedi ini berlaku dikawasan lagoon di kampong pandan. Walaupun susah untuk diterima kenyataan ini TAPI tidak mustahil ia nya terjadi jua. Pernah diseketika dulu 2 ekor anak buaya juga di jumpai di tempat yang sama. Perkataan "macam-macam ada" bukan sahaja terdapat di Akademi fantasia.. malahan dimana-mana jua pun. Pihak media tempatan akan menyiarkan cerita mengenainya pada esok hari. Sebagai bukti, sila klik gambar di bawah ini Pelik tetapi nyata.

During Friday 13 !! (Bad Number .. but Nevermind) .. CAT Kelas And Others

There were 16 studnts from my class comin' to school ... BUT .. only FEW who paint the class =S ..

My CLASS will float because its a SKY!!

Hazifullah Wif Danish

My Class Teacher - Cheryl

Risca And Jessica (TROUBLEMAKERS)

Urang ani macam banar .. kata kan mengecatt .. tapi nya sekali dua mengarakkan tangann (CHIKA) =p

When At Home. . . .

This is the picture of my cuzen (a.k.a Spiderman tutup ketiak =p)

Astafirullahh ! ahah .. masa d kulah .. i take the picture of the UNCENSORED SHOW

Superb Illusion

Do you see gray areas in between the squares?
Now where did they come from?

If you take a look at the following picture , let me tell you ..................... it is not animated. Your eyes are making it move. To test this, stare at one spot for a couple seconds and everything will stop moving. Or look at the black center of each circle and it will stop moving. But move your eyes to the next black center and the previous will move after you take your eyes away from it.... Weird

Stupid Director but not as stupid EX president U.S

THEY FINALLY FOUND HERR !

For MANY YEARS ... they have FINALLY found POPEYE mommmmm!!

ehehehe

During Xtra Class on 11/09

Tyme Xtraa .. kami kana bg revision uleh teacher scii .. sambil tuuu .. emmm mengambil PICTURE

Bohhh .. Brijap Muaa Si APIS anii

Hafizullah dengan SKINHEAD nyaa haha

Me wif azhimann

Caweer mua si fizall ahahah

Chikaa dengan mua brijap nyaaa =p

Human Vs Cartoon